Depending on how you view this blog and me, you’ll be either shocked and outraged at what I’m about to tell you or laughing so hard you’ll fall from your chair.
Oh hell. I know you’re all going to laugh very hard even if you do like me, so go ahead. I’ll be your entertainment for the night.
Less than one hour ago, I was the victim of a drive-by pudding. My wife were on a walk in Old Orchard 1, walking our dog north on Avenida Ronada, when, I kid you not, someone threw a full cup of chocolate pudding at me from the passenger side window of a speeding 2nd Generation grey Toyota Prius.
And it hit me. Bulls eye, with full force on my back, exploding its contents all over my shirt, my new shorts, my left arm, and my Tissot Swiss watch. My wife and dog, thankfully, were spared from the chocolatey assault.
I immediately let loose with an f bomb and jumped about 3 feet as the Prius driver, who had sped to within about 6 inches of the curb, gunned the hybrid and took off Avenida Ronada. Once I realized what happened, I jumped out in the street, raised my arms in the air as men and gorillas do when they’re ready to fight, but the cowardly Prius drove off, no doubt with at least two guys laughing hysterically.
My wife didn’t realize what I was cussing about until 5-10 seconds later, when I angrily spurted out that someone had thrown something at me. In the dim evening light, it was hard to figure out what it was, but it was soft, warm, and dark brown, so I feared the worst.
Boiling with rage, I immediately thought of calling the police. But what would I report? “Yes. *clearing throat* Umm, I’m in Valencia and someone threw a pudding at me from a car.” I’m sure when the Deputy stopped laughing, the full weight of the SCV Sheriff’s Station + air support would be brought to bear on the cursed Valencia Prius pranksters. I considered downplaying the drive-by pudding and emphasizing the careless, reckless driving I observed (maybe suggesting the driver was drunk) but elected not to.
So I did the next best thing. I had my wife take a picture of the scene of the crime. Notice the spent weapon of chocolatey goodness in the grassy knoll:
Image altered to protect the victim. Yes you can click for bigger.
Who would do such a thing, you ask? Naturally I suspected you readers. Maybe I pissed one of you off to the extent that I deserved chocolate vengeance. Maybe this is Valencia’s way of telling Newhall people to stay off their nice paths and pasesos, to keep with their own kind south of Lyons. Is there perhaps a fraternity at Master’s College or CalArts where pledges have to throw pudding at random pedestrians? Is there a faction of chocolate foodies who target fans of vanilla like myself?
Sticky, gooey, angry, and deep in thought, I wiped my hands and arm on my shirt and walked home hiding behind my wife lest someone think I had an accident. I don’t know who assaulted me, but I hope the karma police catch them someday.
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Pudding doesn’t splatter people… people splatter people. LOL
Good writing Jeff.
Their caramel will get them eventually.
People in the Summit get nailed by pudding all the time. This has been going on for a year, at least. My next door neighbor and her mom just got nailed tonight also. She also said it was a gray Prius with no license plates but it had a Power Toyota sign where the license plates should be. 2 guys. I’d really love to catch these guys as they are a pain in the rear! Like the Summit needs one more thing to worry about!
Holly, I recall the license plate frame or something on the rear of the car was yellow. Do your neighbors concur? What time were they hit? I think i was hit about 8:15
She said yes, it was yellow and said “Power” on it with that triangle sign next to it. It was about 8:45 walking up Arroyo Parkway.
Wow, we use to use eggs!
I’m waiting to hear back from her so I’ll fill you in as soon as I hear. My daughter got a hit a year ago and the Summit just sent out a notice to homeowners making us aware that several people keep getting hit. It is a pretty small town- seems hard to not catch these guys.
mmmm…the land of chocolate
So not funny, but the way you tell the story is hilarious.
I’m comforted by the knowledge that the suspects at least had the decency to minimize their carbon footprint while pulling this caper. Only in Awesometown.
And normally I would say be on the look out for a gray Prius but here in Cali that’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack.
You seriously do need to stop by the station and report it at a minimum. That way when these hooligans finally get caught throwing pudding from their Liberal-mobile, their lawyer will only be able to get them out of 75% of the stacked charges against them
While the rest of you poo poo violent attacks in the SCV with weighted projectiles-Petz is concerned with media bias shown towards the American Values entry in the Independence Day Parade. SCVTV seems to have gone out of it’s way not to give the time or visual impact that one might expect of this entry , which was one of the few that truly tried to address and educate the audience about the value of America on it’s birthday. Our group celebrated the Indepence Day Declaration promoted by Dennis Prager and viciously attacked by a blogger at Vanity Fair named Wolcott-who mocked it. But Petz digressees. Our group raised $300.00 in voluntary donations to put a quality entry in the parade , not a Doo Dah piece of shit-handed out patriotic tattoss and candies-copies of the Constitution and Declaration-and look at the treatment we got. Go to minute 41 on the SCVTV stream. The announcers with the noted exception of YWG were unfamiliar with the description of our entry-submitted well in advance of the parade date. So , yes Petz is upset – but not discouraged.
Here is a note from one of our contributors to the parade entry.
Hi,
Well, the local media coverage gave our ‘American Values’ float about fifteen seconds of screen time: enough to see the truck *approaching* the cameras, (and enough time to read the ‘what makes America exceptional?’ cards on the front, but not enough time for the banners on the back of the truck to be read. We’d have had more time in front of the cameras (as the other floats had), but the film crews cut away to reporters interviewing kids in the crowd instead.
The floats before and after us were mentioned by name, and had details read about the nature of the sponsoring organization. Why the different treatment for us? Ideological media bias? Or perhaps, our offering just wasn’t quite as visually stunning as some of the others… you be the judge.
The streaming link is here:
http://www.scvtv.com/html/parade070411-2of2btv.html
You can scroll to approximately the 41 minute mark to see our brief on-camera appearance.
—-
MEANWHILE, the video upload of our July 4th Declaration is now available for your viewing. It’s here:
http://dl.dropbox.com/u/7177224/July%204%20Decl%20SC%202011-a%20copy.m4v (it runs about 9 minutes).
If this first link is slow, try this link, with a much smaller file size of the same material:
http://dl.dropbox.com/u/7177224/July%204%20Decl%20SC%202011-b.mp4
Two videos I took from inside the truck as we drove the parade route (about 2-3 minutes each) are here:
http://dl.dropbox.com/u/7177224/IMG_0853%20copy.MOV
and here:
http://dl.dropbox.com/u/7177224/IMG_0854%20copy.MOV
Enjoy!
Larry
You’re serious?
Wow.
You realize you sound like a teenage girl who shows up to the prom and finds another girl wearing the same dress, right?
Some of those descriptions given by Prager for his “ceremony” seem very Masonic in nature….hmmmmmmmm……..
“… gunned the hybrid and took off …”
Umm.
Hahahahahahahahahahaha.
Sorry.
(gunned the hybrid .. Teeheehee)
Just ask SuperDev who did it. The Man has amazing powers.
Prius driving pranksters are peppering pedestrians on the paseos with packaged pudding? Outrageous!
My wife and I had a full beer thrown at us while walking on McBean by Henry Mayo a few years back. I went back in my car and sat at the intersection until I saw the car come back by. I followed them to their house.
I wanted to take matters into my own hands, but instead stayed in the car at a distance and called the sheriff’s department. The deputy chastised me for getting “involved.” I asked if someone did this to him, would he let it go. The did send a car out and talked to the parents. The deputy told me the kids were in serious trouble with the parents.
Kids tend to return to the scene of the crime to drive back by. Next time, try hunting them down. You should report this though. This is at least a misdemeanor. If the pudding was in a bowl or something else that could have hurt you, it could be a felony.
Excellent work, LM. If it were my teenager engaging in such behavior, I would want to know.
Sorry this happened to you Jeff. That you can handle it with humor attests to your character.
This is a pretty serious thing. I’m not surprised to hear that it has been going on for some time on the Summit. I can assure you it is not disgruntled SCVTalk readers. It is just a bunch of knucklehead teenagers thinking this activity is funny.
All of these events need to be reported to the sheriff. Patterns can be established that will lead to them being caught. Eventually someone will be hurt by this. A beer can? Was it full? That could be a lethal weapon thrown from a car.
A couple of years ago while walking in the Northbridge Pointe area a group of about four teens came driving loudly by me in a compact car shouting obscenities in my direction. A few moments later I came upon two kids (10 or 12?) on bikes who showed me a Slurpee on the ground that had been tossed from the same vehicle. I immediately called the Sheriff. They were grateful for the call.
Call the cops? They’d just juke the stats, classify it as a littering.
We are one of the safest cities in the nation with a pop of over 100k for a reason.
I thought Petz would be in here saying this travesty wouldn’t happen if we got ride of that liberal “open carry” laws…
Jeff carry a big rock with you next time… and make sure you leave a mark
Shoot em in the face!
Did you have your Awsometown day pass prominently displayed? In all seriousness I am glad you werent hurt and I will keep an eye out.
So…if you decide to do a “Top 10 for 2011″ this post MUST be included.
Petz was recently struck by a similarly packaged apple sauce and suffered a slight laceration along the side of his head. We are both lucky that they were not CFLs
Mrs. Petz needs to work on her aim.
Serious PWNAGE Linda! lol
While I appreciate the good humor for the story retold, I am appalled that this kind of thing occurs. My son lives in Fullerton and by telling him this story, I discovered that similar assaults happen to him while riding his bike. Slurpees, water bottles, you name it. What the heck??? While I don’t wish this on anyone, I would hope that every unfortunate, victimized soul contact the sheriff’s department before someone gets seriously injured.
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**ALERT**
Today, 7/11, is free Slurpee day. The materials costs for similar shenanigans has dropped to zero, for the day. My advice is twofold:
1) Check yourself before you wreck yourself.
2) Protect your neck.
This happened to me last summer on a walk off Avenida Navarre!! I called it getting ‘snack packed’. It was two guys in an old honda civic. I can’t believe it happened again!? WTF???