Two women hit by a car outside Mimi’s Cafe in Valencia today were taken to a hospital with minor injuries, while the 9-month-old baby in a stroller with them emerged uninjured, a sheriff’s spokesman said.

At 2:14 p.m., a car collided with two adult women, pushing the stroller with a baby in it through the intersection of Magic Mountain Parkway and Auto Center Drive between Mimi’s and the Westfield Valencia Town Center mall, said Lt. Tom Bryski of the Santa Clarita Valley Sheriff’s Station.

“The two female adults were slightly injured but the baby in the stroller was uninjured,” he said.

The women were treated at Henry Mayo Newhall Memorial Hospital.

“Basically, what happened was one female hit by the car was pushing the stroller, so that when she fell, she pushed the stroller forward and the baby fell out of the stroller,” said one local firefighter who responded to the scene of the collision.

“A car collided,” “the two women were hit by a car,” “one female hit by the car,” and so on. We see this kind of language used all the time in Signal and Sheriff’s reports about car-on-ped or bike accidents in the SCV. They always use the passive voice (the women were hit by the car) or they imply the car had free-agency and decided to hit the women on its own accord (the car collided).

Let’s look at this story once again as it should have been written:

A driver of a silver Mercedes SUV struck two women pushing a 9 month old in a stroller at a crosswalk in Valencia Monday, Sheriff’s officials report. The two women, who suffered minor injuries, were treated at the scene and transported to Henry Mayo Hospital. The infant was uninjured in the collision, which occurred at the intersection of Magic Mountain Parkway and Auto Center Drive.

“Basically, what happened was one female hit by the car was pushing the stroller, so that when she fell, she pushed the stroller forward and the baby fell out of the stroller,” said a firefighter on the scene.

*insert text about how the investigation is continuing, which doesn’t matter anyway, because we all know there will never be a follow-up*

See how that works so much better? When it’s written the first way, I get a little nervous that there are rogue, angry cars in the SCV that randomly strike people crossing the street. When it’s written the correct way, I realize now that it was the driver of the Mercedes who struck the woman with her car, not her car acting independently of human control.

Don’t get me wrong, I think reporting on such incidents has improved somewhat. A year or two ago, the lede might have been “Two women were accidentally hit by a car while obstructing traffic in a crosswalk.” At least they’ve dropped the word “accident” and replaced it with the more accurate “collision,” but still, please drop the passive voice and stop implying that cars are free agents in these kinds of stories. Thank you.

You know what I’m talking about. You might have engaged in it yourself. Example: The term “High Density” may have originated in a demographer’s lab, but in the SCV, it may as well be a four letter word.

It’s often used as a polite way to denigrate as sub-human and abnormal not just renters, but people who own condos, townhomes, or other properties that share walls, open spaces, and other resources. Instead of calling such people trashy or poor or smelly or consumers of Goodwill products or making reference to their skin color, we just say we’re opposed to “high density housing.” Toss in a few references to the San Fernando Valley and you’re done! Project dead, point made. “Those people” are to be avoided and kept far away from our safe, conformist suburban bedroom community.

Well now we have a new term for the reactionary lizard brain of the SCV to embrace in this effort to scare us from efficient, environmentally responsible living: flophouses. Reporter Jim Holt, writing a nice account of yesterday’s pointless and violent SWAT raid of a house in Newhall, was handed the novel-if-archaic-but-golden word on a platter by a Deputy who said the Newhall home was like, literally teeming with insects who started fleeing just as the brave exterminators arrived:

“It’s a flophouse with numerous people living there,” Lewis said. “There’s no other way to describe it.”
People seen entering the house apparently escaped out the back, he said.

“OMG a flophouse!” the lizard brain of the SCV said. “What’s becoming of our town!  I remember when the onion fields…the sheep…the cows…” followed by “something something San Fernando Valley!!!!111!” it continued.

Too bad for the Deputy and Holt (who enthusiastically and matter-of-factly embraced the loaded word later on in the story) that the house was anything but flop and its residents were anything but floppers. A Signal commenter quickly pointed out:

This is NOT a “flophouse”. just because the house is owned by younger individuals, it does not necessarily mean its a flophouse. The owner bought the house about a year ago with his hard earned money. What went on there before that it in related. The YOUNG ROOMMATES that live there ALL have full time jobs, 2 of them own a small local business. The facts should be investigated before the slander is printed.

Alas it was too late. Facts be damned, the lizard brain of the SCV embraced the term with gusto and dispatch. It went from rating a 0 on the SCV interwebs to rating like 3000 all in a short 48 hours. Its usage is already being debated here on SCVTalk (where, if the new thumbs up/thumbs down rating could be applied, it would surely break all records), at The Signal and it will be used in the future to describe any single family home being occupied by people who are un-related or even multi-generational families who are, because such homes are not strictly high density but something is wrong with them anyway.

Are you a Master’s College student who rents a house in Newhall with four other 20 something guys? Flophouser! A multi-generational Indian or Pinoy family with gramama helping out with the toddler while mom works? Well, first of all, who would live like that, and secondly, flophouser!

It’s like the SCV’s own “death panels.” A term no one really bothers to think about (or wonder if its usage is accurate) but everyone instantly and emotionally reacts to.

Here’s to Deputy Lewis and The Signal for unintentionally birthing a brand new, SCV-only meme. I’ll look forward to its usage in LTEs, City Council meetings and in rants right here on SCVTalk.

It’s no exaggeration to say that the LASD touted Nixle as a revolutionary way to communicate, in real time, crime and law enforcement information to interested citizens. Here’s how they made it sound back then:

Nixle® is now being used by the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department to send free geographically-specific e-mails and text messages directly to the public. Messages include arrests, neighborhood-specific alerts and advisories, traffic incidents, road closures, wanted persons, missing persons, crime trends, and more. “With the Nixle instant notification system, the Sheriff’s Department can communicate accurate,timely, and reliable information directly to the public via your cell phones and email,” said Los Angeles County Sheriff Lee Baca. “Nixle is a great success story of a public-private partnershipthat enhances public safety at no cost to taxpayers,” he added.

Sounds grand right? I thought perhaps the system was so advanced it could notify me why, for instance, the Sheriff’s Department helicopter was -once again- orbiting my Newhall high density condo complex at 10pm. Or maybe it would text me based on my geolocation when there was police activity in the area. All sorts of neat stuff would be possible, I thought. Why, I could even disassemble my ancient police scanner!

Too bad that since then, Nixle has become little more than a County-wide LASD spam system which occasionally imparts useful information. Most of the time, the Nixle alerts don’t even concern the SCV. The rest of the time, I’m left reading about LASD events or distant crime stories.

Instead of becoming more specific to my location (the whole idea of the system), the Nixle system is even less specific than the press releases and blog posts I used to read on SCVSheriff.com.

At the same time, the Newsroom portion of SCVSheriff.com -which was redesigned in 2009- is no longer available. The Newsroom blog was written and composed by local SCV Deputies, Deputies like Sgt. Darren Harris who was a great resource for local reporters and bloggers. The Newsroom link and Harris’ posts are gone, replaced with a generic link to Nixle.

Those changes -the move to Nixle and the sunset of the Newsroom site- makes the Sheriff’s Station feel a little more distant and the City a little more in control of what gets reported concerning crime in the SCV.

And that’s a feeling I don’t like to have.

Stuff like this detracts from the journalists at The Signal who actually work hard to keep us informed and intelligent about local issues.

We rarely go to the silver screen, but the kids were DYING to see Tangled 3D.  We arrived at Town Center early, got to the front of the long line only to find the show was long since sold out (apparently to much more savvy parental units).

So we settled for an alternative, Megamind 3D. Total matinee price for two adults, two kids was a jaw dropping 53 bucks. For.the.tickets.  I nearly passed out. Shaking, I coughed up the debit card only to be greeted by the dreaded concession stand. Total cost for tix, popcorn and a beverage? Nearly $70.

This, after slyly visiting the drug store for some sneaked-in, low price candy… and passing a $1 kiosk rental box.

Yeah, quite the savvy consumer.

Incidentally, Edwards Town Center was packed. Concession lines 7-8 people deep. All were working, even the auxiliary stand closer to the screens.

1. Folks aren’t buying DVD/Blu-Ray like they used to. 3D is clearly a means at recouping that revenue. Think it’ll work? For the long term?
2. Given our sometimes foul weather, there has to be a better (cheaper?) way to spend a Sunday with the family when the elements don’t cooperate. Suggestions for some good SCV activities in those circumstances?
3. What recession?

The 5N is closed again, this time due to brush fire near LaSalle Canyon:

Homes on the west side of LaSalle Canyon Road are being evacuated due to a fast-moving brush fire reported near the I-5 and Calgrove Boulevard, in the LaSalle Canyon area.

Resources from Los Angeles County Fire and Angeles National Forest are on scene.

The CHP has closed two lanes on the northbound lanes of the I-5 at Weldon Canyon.

My thoughts and prayers go out to those with property at risk due to the fire.

Let us also not forget the commuters – for the second time this week during peak traffic hours, a substantial portion of our only major artery has been cut off, and there is no real alternative but to sit and wait.

UPDATE 3:10pm: KHTS is reporting that the fire is moving away from the homes at LaSalle Canyon.

UPDATE 3:57pm: Just what first responders need: a bunch of drivers making a bad situation worse. From The Signal:

Were you dropped on your head as a baby? Or do you just do stupid things as a matter of habit?

I ask because on Saturday I witnessed something on a local paseo I’ve never seen before. That’s right, of all the crazy things I’ve seen in 6,000 miles of bicycling around this city, what I saw you do Saturday on a paseo in Old Orchard takes the cake.

Congrtalutions! You win the prize for riding a motorcycle with your kid on a paseo.

Not a bicycle with a motor strapped on. Not even a moped or one of those fancy e-bikes that straddles the line between motorized and pedal-powered transportation.

No, you were riding a real honest-to-God two stroke dirt bike motorcycle.

You may or may not have seen me. I was the guy on a bicycle who rode by you with a confused WTF? look on my face. I even thought of turning around and riding up next to you to ask you what the hell you thought you were doing with a motorcycle on a paseo, but you were going too fast.

I realized later what you were trying to do. You’re a dad. You want to teach your kid how to ride a motorcycle. You figure motorcycling is unsafe as it is, so you figure you’ll minimize the risk to your runt kid by taking the motorcycle off the street, where it belongs, and riding it on a freaking paseo.

I bet you even told your wife about your plan.

“Oh George, he’s too young to learn to motorcycle,” she protested.

“Don’t worry about it Doris, I have a plan. We’re going to ride on the paseo! It’s pretty safe there!” you said, feeling pretty smart to have figured it out.

Only it’s not safe you moron. There are people, children, dogs, kites, cats, R/C cars and more on paseos. In fact, sometimes the paseos are so crowded with people (like warm Saturday evenings in May), it’s unsafe to ride a bicycle, let alone a freaking motorbike!

Would you teach your kid to hunt animals by giving him a rifle and taking him to the zoo? I don’t think so!

Epic fail sir.

This weekend Santa Clarita was rightfully proud of two outstanding citizens who received Man and Woman of the Year awards. In my own silent and angry way, I hereby dub you SCV Dumbass of the Year. And if I see you again riding a motorbike on a paseo again, I will not hesitate to follow you back to your house where I will give you a piece of my mind.

Your’s Truly,

Jeff

Just last month, the upstart and highly popular SCVMomsBlog.com website stopped allowing people to post blog entries instantly. Instead, moderators of the website have to approve the posting before it goes to the front page of the site. Why? Jackie and Andrea told users that there was spam on the front page.

Now if you’re like me, you associate spam with automated email messages trying to sell you on sex, viagra, gambling sites, or get rich quick schemes. But that’s not what was on the home page of SCV Mom’s Blog. No, the problem appeared to me to be that local realtors were abusing the blog system and posting full color posts (ads) for homes they were trying to sell.

Just like they do on YouTube and several other video sharing websites, which has totally ruined my ability to search for news-worthy SCV videos.

I’m sorry SCV Realtors, but no one is Googling for the stupid condo you’re trying to sell in Newhall. No one cares to view still camera shots with a cheesy music track on YouTube. Stop it!

But it’s not just the Moms or cranky bloggers who have to deal with certain Santa Claritan’s desire to promote themselves relentlessly.

No, the problem is especially acute on Facebook, where many  public and private organizations who I’m “friends with” feel the need to barf all over my News Feed page with what are essentially advertisements:

Sorry Awesometown, but I'm going to Hide You

They’re starting in on twitter too, which just a few short months ago was too geeky for SCV business interests to understand, but is now, sadly, becoming more mainstream. I guess we’ll have to go IRC fellas.

And in the real world it never stops either. We’ve taken bus ads to the next level in Santa Clarita; we don’t just put little signs on the side of the bus, we coat the entire damn thing in 45 foot long advertisements. Those gigantic billboard ads are so old school; the new hotness is to hang banners from every light pole in town, that way you can’t possibly miss the Taste of the Town event.  Oh and don’t get me started on paseo advertisements!

And if, by some miracle, you miss all those ads on your favorite website, on the commute home, while walking your dog, or while you’re Facebooking, you still get hit  by the adver-tainment magazines when you go to the mailbox.

But not on SCVTalk. We are ad-free damnit. And proud! And it’s going to stay that way if I have anything to say about it.

PS: The above should be taken in the style it was intended: a humorous rant. I don’t begrudge people trying to make a living. But seriously realtors, stop abusing local websites, ok?

So, what is it with Santa Clarita’s irrational fear of the San Fernando Valley? What is driving the pathos below?

From another Citizen's For Integrity in Government Mailer I received yesterday

Anybody?

Invoking the specter of the San Fernando Valley ought to be like the Godwin’s Law of SCV politics. If you try to discredit your opponent by claiming his policies will lead to the San Fernando Valley-ization of the SCV, you should lose immediately, just like people who equate modern policies with Hitler should lose immediately.

Hey Frank Ferry- what is the SCV going to be like in 50 years? Ferry: I don't know, but I'll tell you what it's not going to be like, the SFV!

But that’s not the way it is. Indeed, the SFV canard is used so often because it works.

But why does it work?

It works because the canard triggers the lizard part of people’s brains, the fight or flight reflex buried in the id of the SCV’s collective consciousness. Think back to the days when the paint wasn’t dry on Old Orchard I; this was the era of white flight, the era of forced busing and civil rights, the era when whites were abandoning the city center in droves and fleeing to the fresh, newly built suburbs.

They were fleeing urban decay, traffic, and yes, minorities. They were Nixon’s Silent Majority and they had had enough.

Ergo, our local politicians invoke the SFV (ironically once known as “America’s Suburb”) to dredge up these same feelings that occurred among people my parent’s age 30-40 years ago. They invoke this to GOTV among the SCV’s likeliest voters, older people.

This kind of crap doesn’t resonate for me and many of my friends. That’s not to say we love the SFV, but that does mean we want local leaders who will define what Santa Clarita can be, not what we’re trying to avoid.

Get a clue!

Vote Boydston. He at least keeps this crap to a minimum. And Katz gets it too.

Another view here.

And just for comparison:

Same six pointed star, similar type and color.

I’m sure it’s great for this security company’s clients that their security vehicles look like cop cars, but for the public?